


Rage (Halocene)

by fvckingavengers



Series: Lover of Mine [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Smut, Winter Soldier - Freeform, assassin!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:46:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvckingavengers/pseuds/fvckingavengers
Summary: Viper (reader) is slowly becoming what she fears most. Steve finally gets insight on what’s been mentally crippling Bucky.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Lover of Mine [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779610
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	Rage (Halocene)

**Author's Note:**

> please, p l e a s e, leave some feedback and your thoughts! it really keeps me writing and posting for y'all.

**We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark  
We’re the savages born from worlds apart  
Our past has shown just how we bleed  
A blind future in front of me  
Lost and fractured to the point of break**

Another week goes by and there hasn’t been any new reports. Bucky figures that you’re laying low after having a bright spotlight shown on you and your actions. You’ve been all the media could talk about between late night talk shows and early morning broadcasts. It made him uneasy - the thoughts that consumed him. Were you being used by Hydra again? Or worse, are you out on your own?

It’s Wednesday night. Steve’s in the kitchen microwaving popcorn while Sam gears up the TV for The Masked Singer and Bucky plays solitaire on his phone. It relaxes him. He focuses on beating his best time of 2 minutes.

“ _We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for a breaking news report._ ”

“You gotta be shitting me.” Sam sighs, running a hand over his face. “It’s the fucking season finale!”

Bucky snickers quietly, not looking up from the screen.

_“A man by the name of Jack Rollins was found dead in his Syracuse home.”_

Bucky’s blood runs cold at the mention of the name. Jack Rollins was Brock Rumlow’s right hand man. The one in charge of disciplining the soldiers who fell out of line. The hand that controlled that godforsaken chair when Pierce went up in ranks. 

_“Police had received a call from a neighbor of Rollins’ who reported suspicious noises and screams coming from the inside house. When officers arrived, they found Rollins bound to a metal chair with severe burns to his temples. He had been electrocuted to death.”_

Bucky sat on the edge of the sofa, phone forgotten and fallen between the cushions. Sam whistles lowly and shakes his head, not noticing the blank, wide eyed expression on the brunette’s face until Steve walks back into the room.

“Hey, I think Bucky’s broken.” Sam alternates between waving his hand in front of Bucky’s face and snapping his fingers.

A crease forms between Steve’s brows and he looks from Bucky to the anchor on tv. “Holy shit.” He mumbles under his breath. “You think your friend did this?”

“I don’t have to think. I know.” Bucky sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Tortured the bastard the same way he tortured us. Probably toyed with him until granting mercy and finishing the job.” He chuckles dryly. Steve and Sam exchange a look, questioning how he finds humor in the ordeal. “Poetic irony. She always was a dramatic one.”

Steve exhales heavily through his nose and closes his eyes for brief moment. “She? You couldn’t mention that little detail before?”

“Why’s it matter?” Bucky tilts his head and narrows his eyes, putting on his best poker face.

“You know why.” Steve rebuts.

“I don’t know why.” Sam breaks the building tension, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table and reaching for a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Steve’s hand. “I’d sure as hell like to know, though.”

“I really don’t appreciate what you’re insinuating.” Bucky scoffs.

“Why? Because it’s true? Couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you, Buck? Try thinking with your brain instead of your dick for once.”

Steve is practically snarling, pissing Bucky off more with each word until it forces him to his feet. Both men are on defense. Chests touching. Bucky still towers over Steve by an inch or so. The blonde doesn’t stand down.

Bucky’s jaw clenches, the bone jutting out beneath his skin. “Fuckin’ punk.” He shakes his head, bumping shoulders with Steve as he moves passed him. 

Sam clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not missing this show. You in or out?”

\---

_It’s been seven months since you both confessed your profound feelings for one another. Seven long months with nonstop, extensive missions that left you tired and aching more than the last._

_You’re stationed in Vancouver. It’s a short mission. Strictly for intel purposes only. You’ll be there for a week tops._

_Bucky jolts awake from the sound of your scream piercing his ears. He sits up and looks over to you. Tears stream down your cheeks and your body is slick with sweat. Another wail scratches out of your throat. Your eyes are shut tight and veins are popping out of your neck._

_He calls your name and shakes your shoulders gently. “Sweetheart, wake up, it’s okay. You’re okay.”_

_Bucky knows all about nightmares. How they strip you of your right to rest comfortably. How they mock you before you even lay your head on the pillow. How they stay with you long after you wake up._

_He calls your name once more and the next moment is a blur. He was hovering above you one second, and the next he’s on his back with a knife to his throat. His heart thuds in his chest and he can hear your labored breath as you heave for air to fill your lungs._

_The sound of your name only makes you press the blade harder where it rests beneath his Adams apple. “Viper,” He tries. “Stand down. It’s just me.”_

_The knife falls to the floor with a clang and you’re shaken from your trance. Your eyes blink rapidly, clearing your vision of the haze and your mouth falls open._

_“I could’ve killed you.” You mumble. “I was gonna kill you.” Your bottom lip quivers._

_Bucky shushes you and shakes his head, pulling you into his lap. “You didn’t. I’m fine. I knew the risk of waking you up.” He holds you close to his chest and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Lets get you cleaned up.”_

_-_

_Cold water calms your blazing flesh. You huddle into yourself as Bucky washes your body with a loofa. The scent of your body wash is comforting. Lavender vanilla. It anchors you._

_The reddened mark on Bucky’s neck is minor, but you still have to bite into the meat of your tongue to keep you from crying. He hooks a finger under your chin and tilts your head to look at him._

_“I’m okay.” He whispers against your lips before kissing them softly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”_

_You shut off the water and move past him, grabbing a towel and handing the other to him. You shiver and clutch the plush fabric to your chest. Bucky wraps the towel around his waist and eyes you closely._

_“They found out about us.” Bucky furrows his brows at your statement, knowing that it was impossible. You both always did a clean sweep of the places you were held up in for any cameras or mics that could expose you. “In the nightmare.” You wave off._

_“They turned me against you. Swiped my brain. Made you to be the enemy. Let me loose with you in the cage while they all stood around and watched me rip you to shreds.” You hide your face in your hands, trying to hide from the horrific image that’s now planted in your head. Bucky steps forward and engulfs you into a tight embrace, letting you sob into his chest._

_“I’m not gonna let that happen.” Bucky murmurs against the crown of your head._

_You scoff and shake your head, taking a step backwards and away from the warmth he provides. “Don’t say that like you have the choice. They do what they want, when they want, because they can. They’re just waiting for us to step out of line so that they can kill us.”_

_He doesn’t take offense to your actions, though his heart aches from the weight of the truth your words hold. He follows you into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed as you pace back and forth. The gears in your head are turning so loudly that Bucky can hear them._

_“I’m gonna make them pay.” Your back is turned to him as you stare out the window at the moon reflecting off of the bay. The gruffness of your voice makes Bucky shudder. “Every single one of them who ever laid a finger on me. I’ll torture them. Burn them alive. Make them scream and pray for benevolence.”_

_Your tone is calm, but it doesn’t make your declaration any less intimidating. Bucky can feel your seething, dark energy from the eight foot distance between you. He approaches slowly, wraps his arms around your waist and presses a kiss to your shoulder._

_“You’ll get your revenge.” He mutters against your skin, lips trailing up the side of your neck. “Everything they have coming for them, they deserve.”_

_You tilt your head to the side, melting into him just as you always do. Your reserve softens a little. Eyes fluttering closed when you feel the press of his hardened cock at your backside._

_He’s insatiable. But so are you._

_Both sets of towels fall to the floor, forgotten in the move to the bed. Bucky hovers over you, lapping his tongue over your nipple and groaning when his hand sneaks between your thighs and he feels how wet you are already. You part your legs and he grins against the curve of your breast._

_“Roll over, baby.” He says softly. “Let me take care of you.”_

_An excited smirk spreads across your face as you do as instructed. You lay on your stomach and Bucky kisses up the length of your spine. He covers your body with his and nestles his dick into your heat, stretching you so deliciously that you could cum in that instant._

_His teeth dig into the muscle of your shoulder blade and he grunts when you roll your hips between his and the mattress whilst your walls hug his shaft tightly. “Jesus, honey.” He whispers breathlessly. “You always feel so fuckin’ good.”_

_You’ve temporarily lost the ability to form coherent sentences, so you simply repeat the action and whimper as if to say, ‘likewise’._

_He moves slowly. Almost torturously. Your whines fall on deaf ears, he’s too lost in his own pleasure to comply to your pleas as he drags himself out of your cunt and pushes past your barriers._

_His tip brushes against your sweet spot and you emit the sweetest mewl Bucky’s ever heard in his life. He picks up his pace, planting his knees into the pillow top and positioning your hips up._

_You grip the pillows and the bedsheet, anything within reach as you meet his thrusts._

_“Harder.” You gasp._

_He obliges without further request. Skin slapping against skin echos around the room along with the squelch if his dick reaching deep inside of your drenched pussy. Complete and utter sin.You’re both lost in it, succumbing to the pleasure you provide and receive from one another._

_“You gonna cum, baby?” Bucky grunts, leaving harsh bruises under his grip on your hip. “Ah—I’m about to cum.”_

_You preen, moaning at the thought, pushing your ass further into Bucky. “Fill me up.”_

_Those words only add fuel to the fire. Bucky pulls your top-half up, his chest flush against your back as he continues to fuck you relentlessly. “You want me to fill you up, huh?” He reaches over to flick your clit. “Dirty little girl.” He grins._

_He fulfills your wish, but only after your body trembles as your orgasm ripples through you._

\---

“Do I wanna know what you’re finding?” Steve asks, looking over at Natasha who’s hard at work behind three computer monitors in his office. He sits back in his office chair with his arms folded across his chest, the remote control nestled between his bicep as he flips back and forth between the news and some late night talk show.

He has limited knowledge of the woman Bucky was involved with. He always missed her name - the name the media refers to her by, anyway. Natasha was just as enthused to get the dirt on the whole situation the second Steve went to her.

“I don’t know. Do you?” She teases with a smirk as she looks at him from the corner of her eye. She sticks her tongue out at him when he makes an unamused expression. “She’s bad ass. Hardcore as fuck from what I’m reading.”

Turns out, SHEILD had a file buried deep down beneath the surface that Natasha used her expertise to dig back up.

Steve scoots closer to read over the material, but Natasha minimizes the browser. Steve gives a scolding look, but Natasha remains unfazed.

“Won’t Barnes be pretty pissed that you’re going behind his back like this?”

He sighs and licks over his teeth. “Let me worry about that.”

After their little dispute in the living room, Bucky retired to bed for the evening. He can’t remember the last time they had gone toe to toe like that, if they ever had.

Natasha rolls her eyes at him for the tenth time within the hour. “If he asks, I wasn’t involved. I don’t need his wrath directed at me.”

She bings the page back up and watches for a change of expression. Any sign of shock from reading about the crimes committed or a contorting cringe from the images provided in the case folders. But there was no change. He remained stoic.

Natasha swivels to and fro in her chair. “I can practically hear the gears turning in your brain. What are you thinking?”

Steve leans back in his chair, stroking his beard as he contemplates, processing the information he’s read. “She needs to be stopped.” He shrugs and shakes his head. “I can’t be the only one who thinks that.”

“You’re not.” Natasha agrees. “I just—I feel dirty, okay? Talk to Bucky before you do something you’ll regret. He has a history with her, maybe he can offer some insight on how to approach this.”

“Yeah, he has a history alright.” Steve sneers.

Natasha raises a brow and huffs. “What’s your deal? So he had sex with her. What does it matter?”

“Sex complicates everything.” He defends as if it were common knowledge. “You know that as much as I do. He’s too close to the situation. His intimacy with her will blind him from what needs to be done.”

“You say that like you have experience.”

“Maybe I do.”

She grins, fully intrigued. “Before we dive into that story, let me remind you that you were incapacitated for more than half of Bucky’s time as The Soldier. I’m sure he learned that lesson before you did.”

Steve knows she’s probably right. Natasha knows for a fact that she’s right. But he’s too stubborn to admit defeat.

“Look,” Natasha nods at the tv, reaching over for the remote to turn the volume up. “There she is.”

_“News broke earlier this evening of a gruesome demise for Jack Rollins, a former Hydra operative. It’s been said to believe that the fugitive behind this murder is the infamous Viper.”_

The reporter’s voice fades as Steve checks out, thoughts running wild.

\---

**So come and play with that rage  
** **Light a match and reignite the flames  
This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay   
We rush into the unknown   
Fearless and brave   
So don’t throw it away   
Won’t stop until sweet victory**

_Bucky could see the change in you unfold before his eyes._

_You were slowly becoming more erratic. Quick tempered. There’s always been a dancing flame flickering in your eyes. Each time you were forced into the dungeon, a dry wind blew, causing the flame to grow double its size until it became a burning inferno, destroying everything in its path._

_You had always been a force to be reckoned with. He learned that the day he met you. He noticed that you read through your journal more often. Studying the words scribbled in ink, trying to memorize them. His heart aches as your words ring in his ears,_

_“They’re chipping away at my humanity. Stripping away my thoughts. My emotions. Just waiting until I’m an empty vessel. ’Til I lose the fight. Become the monster they want me to be.”_

_It takes you longer to recognize your name. Bucky has to say it at least three times before you respond. On top of that, he notices the marks on your body. New scars and bruises. Gut wrenching thoughts fill his head, wondering what goes on when he’s not around._

_He knows full well that you can handle yourself. You’ve never been the damsel in distress type. He marvels at your ability to laugh in the face of danger._

_Like now, for example._

_Both of you were sent to New Jersey to get files from a seemingly small corporation under the guise of an army training camp. Hydra never gave you much information - just enough to go off of to complete the mission. It usually turns out fine. A close call here and there, but you’re both able to get out unscathed._

_But there’s a first time for everything._

_You were compromised. The layout of the facility was more complex than you had realized. You put up one hell of a fight, and it killed Bucky to watch from the shadows of the sidelines - per your instructions. The lack of light in the night sky helped to camouflage him against an adjacent building. You could hold your own for the time being, but he remained close, tailing behind your captors._

_He fought off dozens of agents, discovered a secret elevator, and scoured each and every room until he located the one you were in. You sit in a chair with your hands tied behind your back. The agents no doubt sedated you, or else you’d have broken free with minimal effort._

_Bucky’s cautious, staying light on his feet as he moves along the wall to find a good hiding spot while he strategizes the best way to free you. There are two other people who accompany you. An older man, well dressed with white hair and a thin mustache. The other, a brunette woman with grays coming through. She has tired eyes and a kind face. She looks familiar._

_Bucky shakes his head and moves in as close as he can while remaining out of sight. You lock eyes with him and mouth, ‘stay down’, before turning to look at the man approaching._

_“You’re quite the fighter, Miss. I saw the damage you did to our team. Impressive.” He circles you like a shark while the woman sits behind a desk with a sorrowful expression._

_“If you lay a hand on me, I can promise that I’ll do worse to you.” You watch him through your lashes, scowling and gritting through your teeth._

_He holds his hands up in surrender. “I believe it.” He stops in front of you and stoops down to eye level. “I know how strong you are. The things you’re capable of. I know this, because I had a hand in creating who you are today.”_

_He reaches to push a strand of hair out of your face, but your instincts kick in, and you head-butt him. He stumbles back and lands on his ass, covering his bleeding nose and groaning in pain._

_The woman sighs heavily and rolls her eyes and she rises from her chair, tossing a linen handkerchief to her associate. “For heaven’s sake, Howard. She gave you fair warning. Perhaps if you weren’t so dramatic, I’d say you didn’t deserve that.”_

_Her English accent rings in Bucky’s ears and his skull starts to ache._

_Howard’s words are muffled and indecipherable, but he addresses the woman as ‘Peggy’._

_She keeps her distance, but stands before you, hands clasped in front of her. “We don’t want to harm you,” It’s a shock to both you and Bucky when Peggy says your name. “We want to help you. Save you.”_

_You huff and a smile spreads across your face. A laugh soon follows, dry and sinister, growing louder and louder. It makes the hair on the back of Bucky’s neck stand up._

_You shake your head and lick over your twisted smirk. “I’m not the one who’s gonna need to be saved.”_

_Your jaw tightens. Right as you stand to your feet and throw yourself to the floor, successfully breaking the wooden chair you were attached to and freeing yourself, the lights in the room cut out. Howard yelps in surprise and Peggy curses under her breath. Bucky had mapped put the path from his hiding spot, to you, and to the exit._

_He carries you over his shoulder, ignoring your punches and kicks as he runs down the corridors and to the car parked behind a thick bank of trees._

_You’re furious. Bucky can feel your fury surge from the warmth of your body from the passenger seat. You choose to stew in it, letting the anger build until you reach the house you’re staying in._

_The door barely has time to click before you go off. “The fuck was that? What the fuck was that? We didn’t complete the mission. Pierce is gonna be pissed.”_

_“You were gonna kill them.” He mumbles, taking off the layers of his suit. “They weren’t the mission. We weren’t gonna get the files anyway, not since they caught you.”_

_Bucky knew those were the wrong words to use the second they were spoken._

_“Excuse me?”_

_Your tone is too calm. It contrasts your demeanor; arms folded across your chest with a crease between your brows. It shakes him to the core, but he stands his ground._

_“You were gonna kill them.” He repeats, turning to face you. “I could see it in your eyes.” He holds your face in his hands and strokes your cheeks softly. “Baby, that’s not you. Its—“_

_“Its the monster?” You challenge. “The cold-blooded snake? Well, it’s a good thing they call me Viper, isn’t it? I’m finally living up to the name.” You push his arms away and walk into the kitchen, in search for any substance that would numb your senses for a while._

_Bucky understands that you have more than enough pent up anger to last a lifetime. He’s the closest one for you to take it out on. His heart aches for you. That you’re losing yourself. That Hydra truly is getting the upper hand and could be turning you into the unstoppable killer they want you to be._

_Your brain is at war with itself. Fighting tooth and nail to keep any ounce of good within you. But it’s a fight that you’re losing. You’re scared and angry, too many emotions bottled up for too long. You need to release the pressure._

_Bucky closes the cupboard before you can reach for a glass and takes the bottle of tequila from your other hand. “You don’t need this.” His voice is firm and unwavering._

_You chuckle dryly and roll your eyes. “Oh, you’ve got some nerve. You really wanna piss me off more?” You try to grab the bottle but he holds it out of your reach. “You don’t want to do this.” You shake your head, tone full warning._

_“Oh, but I do.” He challenges._

_And that’s all it took for your fuse to blow._

_Everything moves in a blur. Fists punching and feet kicking. The tequila falls to the floor, glass shattering in tiny pieces on the hardwood. Bucky doesn’t give his all but he doesn’t hold back, either. His memory takes him back to your first interaction with each other. Pierce making you go at it with one another in the cage. You still move as swiftly now as you did back then._

_You leap upward, but before you could wrap your legs around Bucky’s throat, he catches you and slams your body down onto the coffee table, making it crack and splinter under your combined weight. At this angle, you’re able to knee him in the jaw, knocking him off of you and allowing you to get back on your feet. When he rises from the ground, you all but Sparta kick him in the chest, sending him stumbling backwards and crashing into the china cabinet._

_You’re extremely thankful the neighbors are out of town._

_Bucky’s bleeding from his bottom lip and he has a dark bruise forming on his cheekbone. You grunt as you carefully remove a shard of glass from your thigh. You heave, out of breath. Although you’ve blown off a little steam, your frustration still kindles inside of your chest._

_“Is that all you got?” Bucky teases. “C’mon, honey. Come to daddy.”_

_His cocky grin makes you smirk and shake your head. You charge towards him, unsheathing your knife and wrapping your legs around his torso. His head flings back when your fingers knot at his roots and tug roughly. The blade rests at his throat, bobbing along with his Adams apple as he swallows thickly._

_You bare your teeth as the corners of your mouth curl. “Who’s your daddy now?”_

_Ragged breathes and lust blown eyes. Sweat covered brows and tightening grips. Your gaze lowers from his eyes to his parted lips. Full and pretty pink._

_The knife falls with a clang on the floor and your mouth is crashing into Bucky’s an instant after._

_Tongues licking into mouths. Teeth harshly biting into lips and flesh. Hands ripping clothing and groping all of each other._

_Bucky slams your back into the nearest wall, pinning you there with his bare chest flush against yours as he shoves his pants down. You’re already drenched. He can feel your slick on his lower abdomen when your legs squeeze him tighter, pulling him closer._

_He enters you and you see stars. Girth stretching you, length filling you to the hilt. Your walls clench, encasing around him and he curses loudly, positioning his arms under the bend of your knees, extending you wider._

_“Fuck,” You both moan in unison._

_He doesn’t give you much more time than that to adjust before he thrusts his hips hard and fast. You’re defenseless this way. Unable to move much at all. The only thing you can do is take his cock and let him use you._

_Your thighs ache, not used to being folded such a way for so long while brute force pounds against them. They also tremble as your toes curl each time his tip brushes against your spot. Your teeth sink into his right shoulder and your fingernails claw down from his neck to his chest._

_He takes mercy on you, sitting you on the kitchen island and letting your legs wrap around his torso. One of your hands grip the edge of the counter to steady yourself as your hips grind against his. Your other hand grips the back of his neck, keeping his lips locked on yours._

_An abrasively cold hand snakes between your bodies and rubs harsh circles on your nub. Bucky’s so close to coming, but he refuses to give into release before you do._

_“Cum.” The word is a demand. His chest rumbles as his moans turn into groans, and groans turn into animalistic growls._

_Your body obeys without hesitation. Upon feeling your cunt spasm around him, his load shoots warm ribbons into your core._

_Your eyes blink to clear your vision. Bucky barely has a second to compose himself before you’re taking his face in your hands and bringing his mouth to yours, kissing him deeply._

_“I’m sorry.” You mutter, apologizing for your actions at the training camp. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”_

_But you do know. And so does Bucky._

_The two of you choose to live in denial for now, for you know reality will not be kind in due time._

\---

2:07 am.

Steve’s been tossing and turning for the past two hours. Neither the rain sound machine on his nightstand nor the handful of melatonin he forced down could keep him asleep for more than a few minutes at a time.

He pushes the bedsheet off of his legs and changes into a pair of jeans. Although he tries to remain quiet and unheard, his sneakers squeak on the tile floor, making him walk faster to at least leave the compound unseen.

It’s late. No one will be on the road. A late night drive sounds like the best thing to clear his head.

White knuckles and shaky hands grip the handle bars of his motorcycle. The engine roars between his legs. Steve focuses on his breathing; in through his nose, out through his mouth. But no matter how hard he tries to calm himself, his heart pounds harder against his chest.

The images from tonights report flash in his mind. Bucky’s angered voice rings in his ears.

“Fuck!” He exclaims, yanking off his helmet and throwing it on the ground.

He didn’t even realize that he pulled off the road. He runs a hand through his hair and takes in his surroundings. Greenwich Village. This usually busy part of the city is quiet now. Street lamps and business signs light up the streets.

His mind subconsciously took him here.

He looks up the length of the tall building he stands in front of. A coffee shop at the base of apartment buildings. He goes inside. Seventh floor. Apartment 727.

The door is unlocked. That angers him.

It’s stupid. It’s dangerous. It’s contemptuous.

Steve steps in to the apartment and locks the door behind him. The studio seems to be empty. Lights are off. Not a sound to be heard other than the occasional car passing on the street. Then he notices the window’s open, white curtain rippling in the slight summer breeze.

Before he could stride across the room, a body eases through the threshold from the balcony. He shivers inwardly when a familiar pair of eyes rake up his body and a confident smirk stretches across the lips that he can still taste on his tongue.

“About damn time you showed up here, Captain.” You declare.

**Author's Note:**

> please, p l e a s e, leave some feedback and your thoughts! it really keeps me writing and posting for y'all.


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